The dance | invisiblyreal's Blog

"Please," she begged, "don't leave."
"What reason could I possibly have to stay?" he scowled.
"I... I need you..."
"And where were you when I needed you, huh? You never returned my calls and you ignored me for weeks, what am I supposed to do? Just bend over backwards for you because 'you need me'? Please, you don't need me, you just need someone to take the fall."
"You don't understand..." she whispered as he walked away.

The memory faded from her mind and she sighed. She knew she had messed up her chances to be with him, but she felt like she had no choice. It was better this way, that he hated her, but she just wished she could be honest and let him know. Things had never been this hard and she couldn't handle all of it. It was too much and she just did what she thought best: distance herself.

She hated every second of it and the hurt looks that turned into glares just made it worse. Her everything  was hurting, but she couldn't bare the thought of dragging him into her world of pain. She just wanted to protect him - if he found out about what was really going on, he'd probably lose it and do something stupid. Last time he tried to help her he ended up picking a fight and getting beaten and she would not let him do that again. He was utterly humiliated and all because she told him about her boss. But she realized that she couldn't push him away anymore because it was too painful to be without him, although now it was too late to do anything to fix it.

She picked herself off of the ground and decided to go inside. The wind blew cold and the sky was becoming dark from the thick, black clouds that were rolling in, it sent a chill up her spine. The warm wood floors of the dance studio hugged her feet lovingly, coaxing her further in.

The calm and quiet of the studio always brought about a stillness in her mind, everything just melted away. Two steps forward and one step back, a gentle twirl and soon she was in her own world, dancing to the slow rhythms of her heart. All her pain and sadness became a new step in her dance, the emotion pulling her into a spellbinding series of movements.

There was nothing more than the flow of emotions running through her veins. Time stood still and she was trapped in a seemingly eternal dance. Swaying to and fro, extending her arms and pulling them back towards her, all the while her feet gently caressing the floor with their light and steady steps. She could care less if she looked terrible or if her movements seemed awkward, they were her own and she felt a sense of relief from the pain in moving about the way she was.

Thunder sounded and rain came crashing down, her steady beat changed from that of her heart to that of the rain. Each drop making a sound as it crashed to the earth, all the sounds came together to form a melody she was sure that only she heard. Her steps quickening and slowing to the rain's pace. Soon she closed her eyes and fell headlong into a trance-like state, tears came rushing from her eyes while she just danced on and on.

Nearing exhaustion, she slowed down and gracefully dropped to the floor opening her eyes as the dance ended.  She heard clapping and felt embarrassment wash over her as she turned to see who had been watching her. She couldn't believe that her love was there standing at the door.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him without hesitation or thought.
"I thought I'd find you here. And I did." He smiled for a brief second before his facial expressions became unreadable.
They both fell silent and all that could be heard was the rain outside. It being obvious that she couldn't find the words to say, he sighed and sat down beside her.
"I don't get it. I came here because I needed to get some closure and end whatever it is we have nicely and then you had to be dancing... I just forget everything when I see you dance, its like there's nothing else but you and I start to yearn to be in the same spotlight. I thought that I could just say goodbye and forget all about you, but the truth is I can't. I can't get you out my head and its driving me crazy. I have no idea what game you're playing or what you want to achieve but I can't take it much longer. Please tell me what I did wrong or what happened. I can't bare to see you so unhappy but you pushed me away like I was nothing to you... And then you called me up and say, all of a sudden, that you need me when you obviously didn't... What am I supposed to think?"
He shook his head and sighed in frustration.

The words started to build up in her throat but somehow she couldn't say anything, eventually she just started to cry. He wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest. He stroked her head and held her tight as she sobbed. When she finally stopped crying, he whispered in her ear, "I love you."
She looked up into his eyes and whispered back, "I love you too."
With that, he wiped away the tears on her face and kissed her, making a promise to himself to stay by her side no matter how hard she tried to push him away.

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Previous Posts
For all those people who actually read my blogs, posted March 18th, 2014
Words, posted September 11th, 2013
Bottled up, posted January 18th, 2013
The dance, posted December 31st, 2012
Inside, posted November 18th, 2012
Relief, posted October 1st, 2012, 1 comment
Trapped, posted September 30th, 2012, 1 comment
Words of the broken lover, posted September 27th, 2012
Duality and things perceived, posted September 23rd, 2012
Breaking down, posted September 13th, 2012
My prayers for today alone, posted September 11th, 2012, 1 comment
The sickness (small fragment of the story which I accidently started), posted September 8th, 2012
The witch, posted September 7th, 2012, 1 comment
A farewell, posted August 9th, 2012, 1 comment
My destiny awaits me., posted July 23rd, 2012
Where to now?, posted June 27th, 2012, 1 comment
The anger that went to sleep, posted June 22nd, 2012
I am impossible to please, posted June 21st, 2012
Among the autumn leaves, posted May 7th, 2012

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